I've QUIT!!!

Mixed feelings lah. How else to capture how I feel now?

But really glad to be able to move on. At last, the uncertainties have mostly been cleared up. Now it's going to be a new phase, with new people, new environment, new challenges and new everything. This time, the uncertainty is exciting not worrying, which I guess is better.

Meaningful song

Haven heard this song for some time. It came as a timely reminder that I should just relax and not fret too much about changing my job. It seems like my career has been occupying too much of the thinking space in my brain and affected my mood as a result. Take a deep breath and enjoy the present moment.

浪子心声

难分真与假 人生多险诈
几许有共享荣华
檐畔水滴不分差

无知井里蛙 徒望添身价
空得意目光如麻
谁料金属变败瓦

命里有时终须有
命里无时莫强求
雷声风雨打 何用多惊怕
心公正白璧无暇
行善积德最乐也

人比海里沙 毋用多牵挂
君可见满天落霞
名利息间似雾化

Happy today

Don know why. Just feel quite comfortable, warm and fuzzy.
Like this:

Satiated after a darn good meal of sushi. *burp*

MBTI - Summing up

I seem to have benefited immensely from a couple of courses that I attend recently. The first was the executive development course (EDC) which the organisation sent me for in July, and for which I had to sign a "letter of underatking" to work for the org for 6 months. Incidentally, that was the most ridiculous thing that ever happened to me. But I am still glad I went for it anyway. It opened my eyes to the different jobs in the civil service. Talking to so many people from the various ministries and stat boards made me realise a lot of things. For one, no one had to sign such a "letter of undertaking". So much for "investing in training for our officers" and all that crap. Seriously, the HR is the lousiest one I have ever come across. The EDC helped to confirm, chopped and stamped, that I HAVE to leave this org, for my own sake.

The second course is of course the MBTI course. It certainly helped me understand my preferences much better. Understanding myself better has in turn led to a better appreciation of differences in people and made me more tolerant of people who are on another wavelength. More importantly, I feel more certain now that changing track in my career is necessary, and I need to find a job that fits my type. The lecturer Angeline Yam was patient enough to guide me in finding my type, because the indicator had revealed a different result. According to her, the results were skewed probably because I had done too many similar tests and sometimes, the desire to possess certain qualities had influenced my thinking when I was taking the indicator. So for the help she has rendered me, here's me doing a little bit for her by advertising her contact details on this blog, although I am not sure if anyone is reading this in the first place haha.

angelineyam@yahoo.com

Contact her if you are feeling lost in life and she might just be the one to help you find your beacon of light.

MBTI - Day Three

Ok. It's sort of confirmed. After my little chat with the lecturer Angeline Yam, I am ISFP

I suspected so for some time because of my inclination to rely a lot on my senses to heh make sense of the world. It feels much better to be settled into a type, although I have to constantly remind myself not to rely too much on this MBTI type thing to make my choices in life. But I must admit that it gives me some direction in what to choose for my next job. Perhaps as my type suggests, I am suited to work in a more action-packed, impact-oriented kind of job. The options of journalism and event management seem more plausible now. But the nagging lack of financial security is the key thing that is holding me back from taking the plunge. I seriously doubt I am ready to suffer a pay cut, almost half I suspect, for the next few years. Giving up the banking option now makes me feel a bit relieved I must say, because I wonder if the kind of work is really what I will like to do, and whether I can excel in it, given my lack of training.

Whatever it is, I will just go for the interviews and find out more about the job scope and renumeration to help me make the decision at the end.

MBTI - Day Two

Wah lau.....

I am more confused than ever about my type. After going through the different types today, I feel that I can be a ISFP or even ENFP. S is because I like tactile experiences and want to experience things with my senses.But I dislike details and going through data, though I wonder if its just because I am too lazy to go through all the work. E is because I do enjoy talking to people, but I guess I do feel tired after a while. As for careerwise, these combinations are generally good for journalism and writing profession, so I gues it might be good for me to go for the reporter/broadcast journalist thing. But I don want to sit at my desk all day long again, so the broadcast journalist position may not be suitable for me. The drawback is the pay though, for the reporter position. Sigh, it still comes back to money at the end of the day.

What I want : moving around, talking to people, project-based work, variety. Maybe EDB is quite suited. Hopefully they will call me and give me a try.

What I don't want : desk-bound, isolation, routine-work. Which is where I am now. So sad.

I guess I should not be too obsessed with this MBTI thing and just use it as a guide. The more I read about the types or do the tests, the more confused I feel. I guess I have deviated a lot from my true inclinations to really know for certain what I truly am. Figuring as I go along is the only way to move on from here.

I am also rather sceptical whether the different types are mutually exclusive. I exhibit some characteristics for almost every opposing types. For E/I, I talk without thinking sometimes (E) but recharge when alone (I). For S/N, I like tactile experiences but am intrigued by possibilities and imagination and hate details. For T/F, this is easier, cos feeling is much stronger, although the analytical bit is probably strengthened over the recent years. For P/J, I like spontaneity and possibilities and is rather indecisive (P), but do like to plan to some extent for certain things (J). Then again, the J bit could have been fostered. Overall, the closer types would be ISFP and ENFP, in this order.

Well, we will see what happens tomorrow. My type could change again!

MBTI - Day One

Today was the first day of the MBTI course. I am an INFP.

I : Introvert (Although the score was almost even split between E and I, I should be more of an I cos the characteristics seem to fit me better. Plus I do get drained talking to too many people and get irritated when "overwhelming" people pounce on me. Now I have a better understanding why I do not like to hang around with people who talk a lot. My ears ring and my head spins. The lecturer was talking about Is issuing passports to selected people to enter their inner circle. This is totally me. I used to wonder if I was being discriminatory but now I feel justified doing it. But I still lack good extrovert skills, which she explained are acquired and different from the inborn extraversion represented by the letter E. I also think Es who like to talk to people may form less "deep" relationships cos they spread their bets, or time too thinly among too many people. On the other hand, Is form deeper and stronger bonds with the chosen ones, although they may not have as wide a network as Es. Then again, this can be improved if Is hone their extrovert skills well. Maybe Is with excellent extrovert skills can be mistaken as Es. )

N : iNtuition (Pretty clear I am not very sensing, though I believe that I have been shaped and nurtured to be more fact-oriented and rooted to the present. I do enjoy knowing facts. But I think most of the time, I tend to go with my gut feel cos I am too lazy to trawl through the facts to make sense of the information and arrive at my decisions or conclusions.)

F : Feeling (Even clearer that I am definitely more feeling than thinking. I wonder if this means that I am not very numerate, which I think so. But then I am not that good with words either. Wonder how the hell I am going to handle CFA... First thing first, GMAT.)

P : Perceiving (Now this is surprising. Most of the other MBTIs that I did concluded that either I am a J, i.e. judging, or a J-P even split. This time the result was 16:6, in P's favour. I guess I have also been brought up to be more orderly and structured in my lifestyle (J), which I believe is key to doing well in the education system here. With so many subjects to tackle at one time, if one is not structured and disciplined, how to handle right? The truth is I tend to go along with the flow, or at least prefer to do so, even if I do not do it sometimes or most of the time. This becomes evident whenever I drive. I don't like to plan my route, although I sort of have a map in my head when driving. And when I park, I just reverse first before assessing if the car can fit into the lot at that angle. If not, then I panick and readjust my wheels. So bascially I suck at parking, cos I am too lazy and cannot be bothered to plan how much to turn etc. Or when I travel, I do try to plan the destinations but always only up to a half-past-six point, before leaving the planning aside. When I reach the country, then I see what I feel like doing.)

Can't wait to hear what she has to say about job fit for the 16 combis.