Sunday, September 30, 2007
Starting a new chapter tmr
Teresa is so right. The next few months are definitely going to be unsettling. New job, new responsibilities, new people, new environment. I must cope. And I can do it.
Wednesday, September 26, 2007
Quirkology Jokes
A teacher decided to take her bad mood out on her students and so said, “Can everyone who thinks they’re stupid, stand up!” After a few seconds, just one child slowly stood up. The teacher turned to the child and said, “Do you think you’re stupid?”
“No…” replied the child, “….but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself.
Texan: Where are you from?
Harvard grad: I come from a place where we do not end our sentences with prepositions.
Texan: Okay – where are you from, jackass?
A husband stepped on one of those penny scales that tell you your fortune and weight and dropped in a coin. “Listen to this,” he said to his wife, showing her a small white card. “It says I’m energetic, bright, resourceful and a great person.” “Yeah,” his wife nodded, “and it has your weight wrong too.”
Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson went camping. They pitched their tent under the stars and went to sleep. Sometime in the middle of the night, Holmes woke Watson up and said: “Watson, look up at the stars, and tell me what you see.”
Watson replied: “I see millions and millions of stars.”
Holmes said: “And what do you deduce from that?”
Watson replied: “Well, if there are millions of stars, and even if a few of those are planets, it’s quite likely that there are some planets like earth out there. And if there are a few planets like earth out there, there might also be life.”
And Holmes said: “Watson, you idiot, it means that somebody stole our tent.”
A guy goes to the hospital for a check-up. After weeks of tests, a doctor comes to see him and says that he has some good and bad news.
“What’s the bad news?” asks the man.
“I am afraid we think you have a very rare and incurable disease,” says the doctor.
“Oh my god, that’s terrible,” says the man. “What’s the good news?”
“Well,” replies the doctor, “we are going to name it after you.”
An elderly couple had dinner at another couple’s house, and after eating, the wives left the table and went into the kitchen.
The two elderly gentlemen were talking, and one said: “Last night, we went out to a new restaurant, and it was really great. I would recommend it very highly.”
The other man said: “What was the name of the restaurant?”
The first man thought and thought and finally said: “What is the name of that flower you give to someone you love? You know…the one that is red and has thorns.”
“Do you mean a rose?”
“Yes,” the man said. He then turned towards the kitchen and yelled: “Rose, what’s the name of that restaurant we went to last night?”
What kind of murderer has fibre?
A cereal killer.
Two fish in a tank. One turns to the other and says: “Do you know how to drive this?”
Woman to make pharmacist: Do you have that Viagra drug?
Pharmacist: Yes.
Woman: Can you get it over the counter?
Pharmacist: Only if I take two of them.
A man dies and his wife telephones her local newspaper, and says, “I would like to print the following obituary: Bernie is dead.”
The man at the newspapers pauses, and says, “Actually for the same price, you could print six words.”
The woman replies, “Oh okay. Can I go with: Bernie is dead. Toyota for sale.”
A dog goes into a telegraph office, takes a blank form and writes: “Woof woof woof. Woof, woof. Woof. Woof woof, woof.”
The clerk examines the paper and politely tells the dog: “There are only nine words here. You could send another “Woof” for the same price.”
The dog looks confused and replies: “But that would make no sense at all.”
“No…” replied the child, “….but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself.
Texan: Where are you from?
Harvard grad: I come from a place where we do not end our sentences with prepositions.
Texan: Okay – where are you from, jackass?
A husband stepped on one of those penny scales that tell you your fortune and weight and dropped in a coin. “Listen to this,” he said to his wife, showing her a small white card. “It says I’m energetic, bright, resourceful and a great person.” “Yeah,” his wife nodded, “and it has your weight wrong too.”
Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson went camping. They pitched their tent under the stars and went to sleep. Sometime in the middle of the night, Holmes woke Watson up and said: “Watson, look up at the stars, and tell me what you see.”
Watson replied: “I see millions and millions of stars.”
Holmes said: “And what do you deduce from that?”
Watson replied: “Well, if there are millions of stars, and even if a few of those are planets, it’s quite likely that there are some planets like earth out there. And if there are a few planets like earth out there, there might also be life.”
And Holmes said: “Watson, you idiot, it means that somebody stole our tent.”
A guy goes to the hospital for a check-up. After weeks of tests, a doctor comes to see him and says that he has some good and bad news.
“What’s the bad news?” asks the man.
“I am afraid we think you have a very rare and incurable disease,” says the doctor.
“Oh my god, that’s terrible,” says the man. “What’s the good news?”
“Well,” replies the doctor, “we are going to name it after you.”
An elderly couple had dinner at another couple’s house, and after eating, the wives left the table and went into the kitchen.
The two elderly gentlemen were talking, and one said: “Last night, we went out to a new restaurant, and it was really great. I would recommend it very highly.”
The other man said: “What was the name of the restaurant?”
The first man thought and thought and finally said: “What is the name of that flower you give to someone you love? You know…the one that is red and has thorns.”
“Do you mean a rose?”
“Yes,” the man said. He then turned towards the kitchen and yelled: “Rose, what’s the name of that restaurant we went to last night?”
What kind of murderer has fibre?
A cereal killer.
Two fish in a tank. One turns to the other and says: “Do you know how to drive this?”
Woman to make pharmacist: Do you have that Viagra drug?
Pharmacist: Yes.
Woman: Can you get it over the counter?
Pharmacist: Only if I take two of them.
A man dies and his wife telephones her local newspaper, and says, “I would like to print the following obituary: Bernie is dead.”
The man at the newspapers pauses, and says, “Actually for the same price, you could print six words.”
The woman replies, “Oh okay. Can I go with: Bernie is dead. Toyota for sale.”
A dog goes into a telegraph office, takes a blank form and writes: “Woof woof woof. Woof, woof. Woof. Woof woof, woof.”
The clerk examines the paper and politely tells the dog: “There are only nine words here. You could send another “Woof” for the same price.”
The dog looks confused and replies: “But that would make no sense at all.”
Tuesday, September 25, 2007
So sad it's funny
Pick-up lines that you should NEVER be caught dead saying:
Is it hot in here or is it just you?
If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together.
I've lost my phone number. Can I have yours?
Is it hot in here or is it just you?
If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together.
I've lost my phone number. Can I have yours?
Quirkology
Extremely entertaining and funny. Reminds one to stay crazy cause it's simply so much more fun.
"A lie is far shorter than the truth."
"A lie is more factual and involves less use of the word "I"."
" The most reliable signs of lying are in a person's voice and their unconscious choice of language".. not how the person behaves. Useful knowledge.
Branding myself
Very useful and practical read. Good to go back to it once every few years to make sure career is on track.
Brand: Just Do It (JDI)
Motto: to add value to people's lives, helping them achieve their full potential.
Think of me as: Reliable and a comprehensive strategic thinker. I always deliver more than I promised and can see the big picture from multiple angles.
Keep a VICTORY file to keep confidence levels up at all times.
Ask random, out-of-the-blue questions to stay creative.
Monday, September 24, 2007
Sunday, September 23, 2007
Wednesday, September 19, 2007
Pissed and rambling
Hotmail not working well. Weird: can read and delete mail but the reply/reply all button refused to co-operate. Can't reply to the guys on the tennis issue. I know there is no hurry but sense of frustration won't leave. Desperately need human interaction and have something scheduled for the week. Just spending one day at home is driving me crazy already, despite being engaged in (rather) meaningful work. But the goddamn GMAT is a lot more difficult than I expected. Am just no math genius. Don't think will fare any better in the word sections either.
Back to point on human interaction: If I am feeling so bad craving for some communication with fellow beings, highly likely suffering from withdrawal symptoms just after one day, then how the hell am I supposed to cope when I begin my new worklife at Orchard Road?? Don't want to think, in self denial mode.
Moving on, still waiting for some indication on how much I figure in his mind. Waiting and still no sign. Maybe it's time to pop into bed.
Leaving
A sense of heaviness has set in and makes me feel like lead. I have always felt that people who leave are having it good or at least better than those they leave behind. As far back as I could remember, I never wanted to be the one to be left behind. How wonderful it is to just leave everything behind and embark on a fresh journey in search of new adventures and excitement! But I am wrong. Leaving is not a feeling of joy and liberation that I had thought it would be. Instead, leaving made me feel loss and the feeling is unbearable. I could not bear to leave behind the connections I had forged, to close the door to my heart and to turn my back to all those heart-rending moments of the times spent there. Sharing my feelings opened my heart to pain, pleasure, joy and hurt. It was mercilessly bruised and yet gently warmed. Words, feelings, emotions and all the nuances flowed, flowed seamlessly, crossing borders, barriers and space, and in the process, generated sparks. The sparks did not and possibly will never lead to fire, but they were enough to light up my life and make me feel wonderfully, gratefully alive. Such immense joy and consequentially such horrible pain. All the risks taken knowingly, that the possibilities for joy would be equal to those for pain. But for all the happiness in the world, I am willing to embrace the pain that comes with it. How I can live now without the source of my joy and happiness, I don't know. Cliched as it may sound, only time will tell.
Wednesday, September 5, 2007
Lunch
It's the month of lunches. Have been eating with different people from Sydney everyday since last week and it has been very enjoyable. Makes me think I should have done that earlier, except that it is a lot more difficult to have meals with people one-on-one for no apparent reason; inevitably someone will come along and ask to join in and I have not reached the stage yet whereby I can just say "Fuck off, this is private." But really, it makes total sense for human beings to have their own privacy and select who to let in at which point in time. Some people just don't get it and think "stop being such a prick." Anyhow, such people don't get a slice of my precious time.
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