super underdog

I always root for the underdog. And with a name like Barack Obama, what can I say? It's time to shake up America.

3 essential components of HK

1. nature sketching
2. objective description
3. juxtaposition

Hafez

Didn't do it for me. Maybe I am not romantic enough for him. Or maybe it's really because of the translations. Really hate reading the translated versions of stuff, especially poetry, where the language plays a huge part in understanding what the poet is trying to convey. But then there is no solution to this, unless I can manage to master the language sufficiently to fully appreciate the poetry.

End of Oil

Energy efficiency, conservation, whatever you choose to call it, is the way to go. Totally agree.

Dying the Japanese way

Dying has never been so melodramatic. Only the Japanese can die like that. Honestly, I find it hard to believe that the Zen monks can muster enough life to craft poetry and have it written down before keeling over. It's as if they could control life and death and hold the button until their pearls of wisdom are recorded before letting life pass out of them. Bizarre. Who did they think they were, that they could actually master Death? Even more strange is the way they characterise death as "quitting the world", like they, as human beings, can choose to quit or not. I guess in the suicidal sense, one can do so but these monks certainly didn't seem like they committed harakiri or seppuku or something like that. A lot of them, according to this book, just dropped dead right after they uttered their poetic pieces.

Untouched

Didn't do it for me

Don't know why

Maybe the translations

Simply haiku

In genuine haiku, we live as if for the first time, fresh and innocent, knowing reality through deep feeling. Haiku employ a now-moment's material phenomena as a point of departure for reverberations reaching into interior modes of existence. Haiku are written best and appreciated best through the intelligence of the heart. A haiku is not meant to convince the intellect but to engender what may be termed as an "affirmation" in the very ground of one's being. The greatest pleasure given by an authentic haiku's object-perception as such is always less than the least of joys offered by its spirit. - Robert Speiss

Snow on Water: Red Moon Anthology 1998

Wind lifting
the quail tracks
with the snow
Nasira Alma

frosty moon –
silver of a possum’s back
parting the ivy
Robert Gilliland

Estate auction –
can’t get my hand back out
of the cookie jar
Randy Brooks

long wait over –
his thigh prints dissolving
on the lobby sofa
Don McLeod

Wall Street gym –
Junior execs
run in place
Anthony Pupello

Sell Sell Sell

I am too lazy to type out the 25 secrets but Schiffman's underlying philosophy is that to be a successful seller, one must believe in helping people. And to help people, one must know what the target does. So basically, a successful seller is genuinely interested in what people do and how he can help them do whatever they do better.

The elusiveness of it all

此中有真意，欲辨已忘言 - 陶淵明

In these things [of nature] there is deep meaning,

but if we try to express it, we forget the words - Toenmei

Network effectively

Go in with a prepared intro.

The essence of rapport is harmony and similarity.

People like people who are like themselves.

Ask simple, obvious questions and show interest in the other person.

Keep up with current events and have a stock of topics ready.

Listen attentively.

Speak with style

PLAN

Consider what you audience is interested in hearing. Identify key areas and focus on these.
Generally, audiences can assimilate a maximum of three main pieces of info from a presentation.
Think hard about what your three key messages are, mention them in your opening, explore them in your presentation and return to them at the end.
Start strong: The first 30 seconds are crucial. Rehearse your opening until you know it from back to front.
Bring them onboard: Use inclusive language to engage your audience, like “we”.

More on the written word...

Anybody knows where to get Eric Amann's books, please let me know. Bloody Amazon selling his Cicada Voices at USD100+. What the fuck. His later work No more Questions, No more Answers is nowhere to be found on Amazon, despite the latter claiming to be the most well-stocked bookstore on and offline. His poetry really has the power to move. I can feel something inside me stir when I read them. Sounds crazy but it's true.


the names of the dead
sinking deeper and deeper
into the red leaves

---

Winter burial:
a stone angel points his hand
at the empty sky

---

Withered winter tree;
its barren boughs reflected
in the sick man’s eye

---

deep inside your mouth no more questions no more answers

---

deep penetration the bedside candle quivers lightly in the moonlit room

---

deep inside your mouth no more questions no more answers

---

wild raspberry taste on the tip of your tongue

---

snow falling
on the empty parking-lot:
Christmas Eve…

---

In the quiet pond
even the touch of a moth
shatters the full moon

---

old men on park benches
looking older still
this autumn day

---

A night train passes:
pictures of the dead are trembling
on the mantelpiece

---

Short spring night:
the mountain river
runs through my dream

---

glistening
with drops of morning dew:
the cat’s whiskers

---

Headless turkeys
hand in the butcher’s window—
Thanksgiving Day!

---

Billboards . . .
Wet
in spring rain . . .

---

The circus tent
all folded up:
October mist . . .

---

I generally am not a fan of his one-liner poems but his three-liner haiku poems are amazing. Top on my list are the names of the dead, winter burial, parking lot, night train, wet billboards and circus tent. The haiku poems on death are so powerful I wonder what his views on death are. He also has this uncanny ability to invoke a sense of desolation and emptiness. Everything is empty and Emptiness is everything. Cool.

赤地之恋

Surprisingly readable book. Am not a big fan of female authors but Chang is pretty skilful. I appreciate her keen observation skills and ability to craft vivid images in elegant prose. Quite striking imagery in this book. Also like that greater weight is placed on the political backdrop and not the sobby soppy romantic entanglements that I thought she was known for.

I knew it but why did I still do it?

As expected, am in zombie mode today. Eyes feel swollen and groggy. That morning caffeine injection did not work its usual magic. But am still trudging through the day, doing the rounds, making the calls and reading. Always telling myself to make that one extra call, before I let myself off to do anything else. Schiffman's methods actually work. It's all about discipline, optimism and stamina.

Quite productive so far despite my half/life condition, plus an important lesson learnt, actually not so much learnt but revised today: Always check and check and never ever assume. Basically applies for everything in life.

2. Senryu - Japanese Satirical Verses

The book is so good and important I am devoting two posts to it.

Idealism is of all space, of the past and the future; realism is of this place and this present moment, the only really living thing. Senryu brings us back to here and now; haiku is that “something ever more about to be”. - R.H. Blyth

追ふ人にあかりを見する蛍かな　－　おえまる

The firefly

Gives light

To its pursuer.

--o0o--

一本のマッチに闇のたぢろきぬ　―　万年

At a single match,

The darkness

flinches.

--o0o--

自動車で見ればみじめな人通り　－　錦郎

Looking from the car

The people going by

Are a miserable sight.

Senryu by R.H. Blyth

R.H. Blyth is one of the most respected scholar in Japanese traditional poetry. I have immense respect for him, together with Makoto Ueda because of the painstaking mission they have undertaken in their own ways, to bring beautiful verses to a much larger audience in the world. What distinguishes them from the rest of the other "scholars" and translators of Japanese haiku and its poetic cousins is that they bother to place the original verses, printed or in Blyth's case typed, in Japanese hiragana no less (because computers were not used in his time), alongside their translated versions. Their personal comments/critique of each verse also contribute to a better understanding and appreciation of the works. Wanted to put a pic of the book "Senryu" on the blog but the book is so old, I can't find an image online. Not that the book has a cover design anyway. But here is a photo of Blyth himself. As I have benefited so much from their hard work, I hereby sincerely proclaim the deepest respect for REGINALD HORACE BLYTH and MAKOTO UEDA. *kowtows*

And I am still trying to hunt down the complete 4-book series of Haiku by Blyth (cheaper one of course): "Eastern Culture - Vol. 1", "Haiku Spring - Vol. 2", "Haiku Summer-Autumn - Vol. 3", "Haiku Autumn-Winter - Vol.4". And A History of Haiku (2 volumes); bloody NLB only has the first volume up to Issa's time and am dying to get hold of the second volume. If I still have money and energy and lobang, that 5-volume Zen and Zen Classics is also highly highly desirable.

Top top top on my to-read list before I die.

Inexplicable urge to blog

Don’t know why but here we go. I just know that I am going to so regret this tomorrow morning but well I can’t sleep either so might as well type something. Most exciting thing that is going to happen: that road trip up north all the way to Penang next weekend with the Sydney gang. JY with his irrepressible sense of acid humour delivered with the right amount of oomph, Kenny who can always be relied on to keep the party going and ideas flowing, SY the economist who can always be trusted to make the right and cheapest decision, Hermie the ever so dependable one, a trait especially crucial in a place like Malaysia where one can get raped, robbed and chopped up with head and torso strewn in places 10,000 km apart, and of course HL, well always good to have another being of the female species around. Okay, I am getting quite worked up and raring to go now. Woo hoo~

What is life without haiku

I have a lot of respect for Makoto Ueda. A lot. He has done good work, laboriously translating thousands of pre-modern Japanese haiku and senryu and doing a great service for all non-Japanese natives who enjoy this form of poetry. Plus, his English is fantastic so a good balance of keeping as closely as possible to the original meaning and nuances of the poetry while ensuring the translated stuff read properly. I like the other book he produced: Modern Japanese Haiku: an anthology, written in 1976. Should go hunt down some of his original works.

talk talk talk

The ability to identify your best prospects, deliver your message effectively and manage your time will directly correlate with the number of sales you make.

What are the prospect’s needs and desires? How can what you are offering help him? What are his goals and concerns? Forget for a moment what you want and consider what you can offer to benefit each prospect. Satisfy your client’s needs.

1. Identify name and company.
2. State reason for call (offer benefit)
3. Confirm prospect’s name and position.
4. Check if he has a minute to spare.
5. Ask question quickly to involve him in conversation. (Qualify prospect)

Throughout the pitch, keep prospect agreeing with your statements and keep him talking.

MY GOAL IS NOT TO JUST SEND THE JD BUT TO GET THE PROSPECT TO SEND ME HIS CV.

Voice control: volume, vocab, pronunciation, speed, emotions conveyed.

STRATEGIES
1. Dress like a pro.
2. Set daily, weekly and monthly goals.
3. Research on prospects and companies.
4. Mirror.
5. Reward myself.
6. Handle rejection effectively.
7. Develop a 2-way dialogue.
8. Ask for that CV.
9. Deal effectively with gatekeepers. Get them on my side.
10. “Hi, is Bill there? This is Sharon.”

*Slurp*

Another weekend. I am just going to sit around, day dream and rot. What a great way to just relax and not think about anything, like work or where my career is heading. Currently, I am inspired by the thought of keeping myself well-preserved and avoiding letting everything fall apart, like my skin, my WEIGHT (horrors, I am positive that I am pudgier than ever before, despite people telling me otherwise.), how I dress (surely a slippery sloppy slope) and even my panda eyes that I had slowly learnt to ignore (but it's all coming back to haunt me). I must admit I am generally lazy, although I always like to think otherwise. Never really had the stamina to last through any single endeavour big or small. Instead of griping and groaning away, I had better get down to DOING stuff, like whatever I have just said.

Dated..

But the general principles still apply.

To be a good hunter in the recruitment process, you must be both a good judge of character and a good researcher.

If a candidate is not interested in the opportunity you present, always find out why. It may be something that can be dispelled. If not, source him for other prospects. If neither, leave your name and contact. Always try if possible to get info on him for future reference. Always be polite and understanding.

Ask questions during the interview to find out:
1. Problem solving skills
- What kinds of decisions are most difficult for you?
- What major problems have you identified in your current position and what have you done about them?
- What was your biggest challenge in your work and how did you reach a solution?
- What notable successes have you had in problem solving for your company?

2. Communication skills
- How would your boss describe you?
- What are your strengths and weaknesses?
- How do you tell your boss the action is wrong or that you disagree with the direction he is taking?
- In considering important career decisions, what impact does your closest family play in the decision-making?

3. Motivation
- Why are you interested in this opportunity?
- What are some of the major projects that you have initiated that you did not have to do?
- What mission or thinking do you follow when you work?
- What have you done to be more effective in your career?
- What do you consider is the biggest failure in your life and how did you overcome it?
- With regard to your career, where do you see yourself 5 years from now?

4. Interpersonal skills
- In what way do you give your subordinates feedback?
- How do you work with weak or new members of your team? How do you deal with the strong performers?
- What is the toughest communication problem that you have faced?
- Have you verbally convinced someone of an approach or idea? Tell me about it.

5. Administrative skills
- How would your characterize your management style?
- Are there certain tasks that a manager can never delegate? What are these?
- What are the most common challenges or problems you face and how do you deal with it?
- How would you react if your subordinate told you that you were wrong in one of your decisions?

After the interview with the candidate, you should be able to answer 3 crucial questions:
Is he able to do the job?
Is he willing to do the job?
Is he going to be manageable?

References should be from the last 3 companies. You should talk to the closest supervisor whom the candidate reported to.

Reference questions

How long have you known the candidate and in what capacity?
Comment on the performance of the candidate. What were his major accomplishments?
What are his strengths and weaknesses?
Describe his management style.
Why might he be considering a move at this moment?
Have there ever been any domestic, financial or personal difficulties that would have interfered with his work?
What is your assessment of his suitability to the position?
Is there anything else we should know about the candidate?

Tell the CPC to unban this book!

The gap, or rather chasm, between theory and practice. What has gone wrong to result in such stark difference between what Hu Angang has envisioned and what really is happening on the ground? This is real and what is real is always worth a thorough read.

The macro view

For a macro view of China's development trajectory and its vision for a better tomorrow for its citizens, read Hu Angang, possibly the most respected and distinguished Chinese economist at the moment. Even Prof David Lampton says, "I like him (Hu) very much."

Telemarketing tips from A to Z

A major reason business is lost is that no one ever asked the prospect to buy.

Use echo questions to get more info.

Don’t cement a negative or objection. Get details by asking questions. OKAY is not okay.

Prospects never reject YOU. It’s never personal.

Eliminate wimpy words: just, think, maybe, possibly.

HOW TO HANDLE RESPONSES

“I’M HAPPY WITH WHERE I AM.”

Reinforce what he is doing – “I’m just curious, what do you do?”
How my recommendation can complement his career goals – find out about his job scope, career history, his circumstances, what makes him content with the status quo

“I’M NOT INTERESTED.”

“Well, (name), a lot of people had the same reaction when I first called, before they had a chance to hear what this opportunity is all about.”

“I’M BUSY.”

I’ll call you back (when). What is your mobile no.?”

“SEND ME SOME LITERATURE.”

Try to explain over the phone first or call back another time. If not, then send the JD.


We need to behave like professionals if we expect to be treated like professionals.

Use the info he gives me to show why the opportunity is suitable for him.

LEAVING VOICEMAILS
Don’t leave more than 1 voicemail per week per person.
Leave name, company, position, contact no.

Calling a prospect who has already received a call from a colleague – “I’m calling in reference to (name of that colleague).”

THE REAL KEY TO SUCCESSFUL SELLING IS FINDING OUT WHAT PEOPLE DO

Don't anyhow whack

Your number ONE competitor today is the STATUS QUO.

Every time a person says no, you are getting closer to a yes.

Double your income:
Double the number of calls
Get through more often to speak to the prospect
Get more yes to send the JD
Close more – send that JD

You must develop a clear, consistent message that you can use to promote your business.

We overestimate how many people know who we are and underestimate how many people our acquaintances know.

Learn to rethink your existing accounts, while you find new ones. Every single business you work with will inevitably suffer from a downturn.

COLD CALL MECHANICS
Get the person’s attention:
People respond in kind

Identify yourself and company:
Give a short intro of your business

Give the reason for the call:
“I’m calling you because I would like to let you know (company) is seeking a (position).”

Make a qualifying/questioning statement:
Has to flow easily and logically and avoid a negative response from the prospect

Send that JD:
“I’ll send you the JD. What is your email? What is your mobile no.?”

Do not make repeated calls. There are always other people to call.

Smile when you make the phone call. The result is you sound better.
When you stand up and make the phone call, you are going to sound more animated.

Keep a record of your calls:
No. of dials
No. of calls completed
No. of JDs sent

Make every call matter: send out your contact and that JD.

Not so bad

They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety. - Benjamin Franklin


Although the road may be dangerous and the final destination far out of sight, there is no route which does not come to an end: do not despair. - Hafez

Freak

It's got tons of interesting data, it's quirkily written and it casts novel angles on popular issues. But it still doesn't really capture my imagination. Not in the way Quirkology did. Suspect it's because the focus is too American.

Headhunting

Targeted cold calling: the assumption is that the hiring manager will be more likely to accept an unsolicited call if he has a genuine hiring need.

Pre-job order relationship building: establish a relationship and build some rapport before requesting the target company's business. It may tkae months or even years of relationship building calls to turn the company into a client.

Marketing call: a good marketing call requires a combination of knowing the kind of candidates likely to impress the employer, having a good candidate and effectively presenting the candidate's abilities and qualities.

REMEMBER: a lot of people are content but not necessarily happy where they are.

“I look at every conversation as a potentially good conversation and try to get something out of it. If the guy is not right for the job, maybe he is right for something I am going to get next week.and I want him to understand me a little better, and I want to leave him with a feeling that I was good to him, that he had a positive experience, and that he will be willing to come back and that if I ring him again, he will come back willingly.” Make every conversation worthwhile.

A headhunter calls a prospect for 3 reasons:
v Determine if the candidate is interested and if he is a viable candidate.
v To get names of other prospects.
v To get more info about the candidate for record purpose.

A headhunter’s skill lies in identifying and accentuating the impediment to an employee’s complete satisfaction. There are 5 types of “wounds”: company, boss, job duties/scope, location, salary.

The right fit: SOCIAL SIMILARITY & SOCIAL SKILLS

“You’re selling CREDIBILITY, nothing else.”

Selling the candidate: point out and possibly exaggerate the negative info & challenge the meaning and salience of that negative info about the candidate.

Telling the candidate that all employers make counter-offers is effective only if it precedes the counter-offer.

Headhunters close their candidates by controlling their emotions.

Support Support!

LISTEN TO LOCAL MUSIC!
BUY MYLOPENG'S ALBUM!

Resume writing

Some tips:
· Organize, organize, organize. No one is going to pay a lot of attention to a resume that rambles on and on.
· Place the most important aspects of the CV, i.e. current employment details and other areas which you are extremely proud of, right at the beginning of the resume.
· Include all contact numbers, in case you change your cellphone no. one day and nobody can ever find you.
· No need to tell me you are healthy. That is taken for granted.
· Attach your prettiest photo and please comb your hair.
· Pay extra attention to the wording of your resume. Show how you have effected change in your organization. I am not in the least interested in long grandmother stories of your job responsibilities, like filing and reporting.

My goodness

Just found out a friend of the same age is going to become a MURTHER.
Geez, I still feel like a kid. And having kids seem so.. far away and unreal and unimaginable and impossible and...
Well, not enough money to feed myself, not enough time for myself, not enough energy to do things that will improve my life, not had enough of the world yet to give up everything for a kid. Such courage. sigh.

Sensible stuff

Very sensible and lucidly written. About time the Divided States of Embarrassment get off their asses to implement change.

Starting a new chapter tmr

Teresa is so right. The next few months are definitely going to be unsettling. New job, new responsibilities, new people, new environment. I must cope. And I can do it.

Quirkology Jokes

A teacher decided to take her bad mood out on her students and so said, “Can everyone who thinks they’re stupid, stand up!” After a few seconds, just one child slowly stood up. The teacher turned to the child and said, “Do you think you’re stupid?”
“No…” replied the child, “….but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself.

Texan: Where are you from?
Harvard grad: I come from a place where we do not end our sentences with prepositions.
Texan: Okay – where are you from, jackass?

A husband stepped on one of those penny scales that tell you your fortune and weight and dropped in a coin. “Listen to this,” he said to his wife, showing her a small white card. “It says I’m energetic, bright, resourceful and a great person.” “Yeah,” his wife nodded, “and it has your weight wrong too.”

Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson went camping. They pitched their tent under the stars and went to sleep. Sometime in the middle of the night, Holmes woke Watson up and said: “Watson, look up at the stars, and tell me what you see.”
Watson replied: “I see millions and millions of stars.”
Holmes said: “And what do you deduce from that?”
Watson replied: “Well, if there are millions of stars, and even if a few of those are planets, it’s quite likely that there are some planets like earth out there. And if there are a few planets like earth out there, there might also be life.”
And Holmes said: “Watson, you idiot, it means that somebody stole our tent.”

A guy goes to the hospital for a check-up. After weeks of tests, a doctor comes to see him and says that he has some good and bad news.
“What’s the bad news?” asks the man.
“I am afraid we think you have a very rare and incurable disease,” says the doctor.
“Oh my god, that’s terrible,” says the man. “What’s the good news?”
“Well,” replies the doctor, “we are going to name it after you.”

An elderly couple had dinner at another couple’s house, and after eating, the wives left the table and went into the kitchen.
The two elderly gentlemen were talking, and one said: “Last night, we went out to a new restaurant, and it was really great. I would recommend it very highly.”
The other man said: “What was the name of the restaurant?”
The first man thought and thought and finally said: “What is the name of that flower you give to someone you love? You know…the one that is red and has thorns.”
“Do you mean a rose?”
“Yes,” the man said. He then turned towards the kitchen and yelled: “Rose, what’s the name of that restaurant we went to last night?”

What kind of murderer has fibre?
A cereal killer.

Two fish in a tank. One turns to the other and says: “Do you know how to drive this?”

Woman to make pharmacist: Do you have that Viagra drug?
Pharmacist: Yes.
Woman: Can you get it over the counter?
Pharmacist: Only if I take two of them.

A man dies and his wife telephones her local newspaper, and says, “I would like to print the following obituary: Bernie is dead.”
The man at the newspapers pauses, and says, “Actually for the same price, you could print six words.”
The woman replies, “Oh okay. Can I go with: Bernie is dead. Toyota for sale.”

A dog goes into a telegraph office, takes a blank form and writes: “Woof woof woof. Woof, woof. Woof. Woof woof, woof.”
The clerk examines the paper and politely tells the dog: “There are only nine words here. You could send another “Woof” for the same price.”
The dog looks confused and replies: “But that would make no sense at all.”

So sad it's funny

Pick-up lines that you should NEVER be caught dead saying:


Is it hot in here or is it just you?


If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together.


I've lost my phone number. Can I have yours?

Quirkology

Extremely entertaining and funny. Reminds one to stay crazy cause it's simply so much more fun.

"A lie is far shorter than the truth."

"A lie is more factual and involves less use of the word "I"."

" The most reliable signs of lying are in a person's voice and their unconscious choice of language".. not how the person behaves. Useful knowledge.

Branding myself

Very useful and practical read. Good to go back to it once every few years to make sure career is on track.

Brand: Just Do It (JDI)

Motto: to add value to people's lives, helping them achieve their full potential.

Think of me as: Reliable and a comprehensive strategic thinker. I always deliver more than I promised and can see the big picture from multiple angles.

Keep a VICTORY file to keep confidence levels up at all times.

Ask random, out-of-the-blue questions to stay creative.

Against our will

Fucked up my mind and made me sick

Happy

Pissed and rambling

Hotmail not working well. Weird: can read and delete mail but the reply/reply all button refused to co-operate. Can't reply to the guys on the tennis issue. I know there is no hurry but sense of frustration won't leave. Desperately need human interaction and have something scheduled for the week. Just spending one day at home is driving me crazy already, despite being engaged in (rather) meaningful work. But the goddamn GMAT is a lot more difficult than I expected. Am just no math genius. Don't think will fare any better in the word sections either.

Back to point on human interaction: If I am feeling so bad craving for some communication with fellow beings, highly likely suffering from withdrawal symptoms just after one day, then how the hell am I supposed to cope when I begin my new worklife at Orchard Road?? Don't want to think, in self denial mode.

Moving on, still waiting for some indication on how much I figure in his mind. Waiting and still no sign. Maybe it's time to pop into bed.

The Kite Runner

Most heart wrenching, inspiring book I have read in a long while.

あたしもいい人になりたい。

Leaving

A sense of heaviness has set in and makes me feel like lead. I have always felt that people who leave are having it good or at least better than those they leave behind. As far back as I could remember, I never wanted to be the one to be left behind. How wonderful it is to just leave everything behind and embark on a fresh journey in search of new adventures and excitement! But I am wrong. Leaving is not a feeling of joy and liberation that I had thought it would be. Instead, leaving made me feel loss and the feeling is unbearable. I could not bear to leave behind the connections I had forged, to close the door to my heart and to turn my back to all those heart-rending moments of the times spent there. Sharing my feelings opened my heart to pain, pleasure, joy and hurt. It was mercilessly bruised and yet gently warmed. Words, feelings, emotions and all the nuances flowed, flowed seamlessly, crossing borders, barriers and space, and in the process, generated sparks. The sparks did not and possibly will never lead to fire, but they were enough to light up my life and make me feel wonderfully, gratefully alive. Such immense joy and consequentially such horrible pain. All the risks taken knowingly, that the possibilities for joy would be equal to those for pain. But for all the happiness in the world, I am willing to embrace the pain that comes with it. How I can live now without the source of my joy and happiness, I don't know. Cliched as it may sound, only time will tell.

Lunch

It's the month of lunches. Have been eating with different people from Sydney everyday since last week and it has been very enjoyable. Makes me think I should have done that earlier, except that it is a lot more difficult to have meals with people one-on-one for no apparent reason; inevitably someone will come along and ask to join in and I have not reached the stage yet whereby I can just say "Fuck off, this is private." But really, it makes total sense for human beings to have their own privacy and select who to let in at which point in time. Some people just don't get it and think "stop being such a prick." Anyhow, such people don't get a slice of my precious time.

I've QUIT!!!

Mixed feelings lah. How else to capture how I feel now?

But really glad to be able to move on. At last, the uncertainties have mostly been cleared up. Now it's going to be a new phase, with new people, new environment, new challenges and new everything. This time, the uncertainty is exciting not worrying, which I guess is better.

Meaningful song

Haven heard this song for some time. It came as a timely reminder that I should just relax and not fret too much about changing my job. It seems like my career has been occupying too much of the thinking space in my brain and affected my mood as a result. Take a deep breath and enjoy the present moment.

浪子心声

难分真与假 人生多险诈
几许有共享荣华
檐畔水滴不分差

无知井里蛙 徒望添身价
空得意目光如麻
谁料金属变败瓦

命里有时终须有
命里无时莫强求
雷声风雨打 何用多惊怕
心公正白璧无暇
行善积德最乐也

人比海里沙 毋用多牵挂
君可见满天落霞
名利息间似雾化

Happy today

Don know why. Just feel quite comfortable, warm and fuzzy.
Like this:

Satiated after a darn good meal of sushi. *burp*

MBTI - Summing up

I seem to have benefited immensely from a couple of courses that I attend recently. The first was the executive development course (EDC) which the organisation sent me for in July, and for which I had to sign a "letter of underatking" to work for the org for 6 months. Incidentally, that was the most ridiculous thing that ever happened to me. But I am still glad I went for it anyway. It opened my eyes to the different jobs in the civil service. Talking to so many people from the various ministries and stat boards made me realise a lot of things. For one, no one had to sign such a "letter of undertaking". So much for "investing in training for our officers" and all that crap. Seriously, the HR is the lousiest one I have ever come across. The EDC helped to confirm, chopped and stamped, that I HAVE to leave this org, for my own sake.

The second course is of course the MBTI course. It certainly helped me understand my preferences much better. Understanding myself better has in turn led to a better appreciation of differences in people and made me more tolerant of people who are on another wavelength. More importantly, I feel more certain now that changing track in my career is necessary, and I need to find a job that fits my type. The lecturer Angeline Yam was patient enough to guide me in finding my type, because the indicator had revealed a different result. According to her, the results were skewed probably because I had done too many similar tests and sometimes, the desire to possess certain qualities had influenced my thinking when I was taking the indicator. So for the help she has rendered me, here's me doing a little bit for her by advertising her contact details on this blog, although I am not sure if anyone is reading this in the first place haha.

angelineyam@yahoo.com

Contact her if you are feeling lost in life and she might just be the one to help you find your beacon of light.

MBTI - Day Three

Ok. It's sort of confirmed. After my little chat with the lecturer Angeline Yam, I am ISFP

I suspected so for some time because of my inclination to rely a lot on my senses to heh make sense of the world. It feels much better to be settled into a type, although I have to constantly remind myself not to rely too much on this MBTI type thing to make my choices in life. But I must admit that it gives me some direction in what to choose for my next job. Perhaps as my type suggests, I am suited to work in a more action-packed, impact-oriented kind of job. The options of journalism and event management seem more plausible now. But the nagging lack of financial security is the key thing that is holding me back from taking the plunge. I seriously doubt I am ready to suffer a pay cut, almost half I suspect, for the next few years. Giving up the banking option now makes me feel a bit relieved I must say, because I wonder if the kind of work is really what I will like to do, and whether I can excel in it, given my lack of training.

Whatever it is, I will just go for the interviews and find out more about the job scope and renumeration to help me make the decision at the end.

MBTI - Day Two

Wah lau.....

I am more confused than ever about my type. After going through the different types today, I feel that I can be a ISFP or even ENFP. S is because I like tactile experiences and want to experience things with my senses.But I dislike details and going through data, though I wonder if its just because I am too lazy to go through all the work. E is because I do enjoy talking to people, but I guess I do feel tired after a while. As for careerwise, these combinations are generally good for journalism and writing profession, so I gues it might be good for me to go for the reporter/broadcast journalist thing. But I don want to sit at my desk all day long again, so the broadcast journalist position may not be suitable for me. The drawback is the pay though, for the reporter position. Sigh, it still comes back to money at the end of the day.

What I want : moving around, talking to people, project-based work, variety. Maybe EDB is quite suited. Hopefully they will call me and give me a try.

What I don't want : desk-bound, isolation, routine-work. Which is where I am now. So sad.

I guess I should not be too obsessed with this MBTI thing and just use it as a guide. The more I read about the types or do the tests, the more confused I feel. I guess I have deviated a lot from my true inclinations to really know for certain what I truly am. Figuring as I go along is the only way to move on from here.

I am also rather sceptical whether the different types are mutually exclusive. I exhibit some characteristics for almost every opposing types. For E/I, I talk without thinking sometimes (E) but recharge when alone (I). For S/N, I like tactile experiences but am intrigued by possibilities and imagination and hate details. For T/F, this is easier, cos feeling is much stronger, although the analytical bit is probably strengthened over the recent years. For P/J, I like spontaneity and possibilities and is rather indecisive (P), but do like to plan to some extent for certain things (J). Then again, the J bit could have been fostered. Overall, the closer types would be ISFP and ENFP, in this order.

Well, we will see what happens tomorrow. My type could change again!

MBTI - Day One

Today was the first day of the MBTI course. I am an INFP.

I : Introvert (Although the score was almost even split between E and I, I should be more of an I cos the characteristics seem to fit me better. Plus I do get drained talking to too many people and get irritated when "overwhelming" people pounce on me. Now I have a better understanding why I do not like to hang around with people who talk a lot. My ears ring and my head spins. The lecturer was talking about Is issuing passports to selected people to enter their inner circle. This is totally me. I used to wonder if I was being discriminatory but now I feel justified doing it. But I still lack good extrovert skills, which she explained are acquired and different from the inborn extraversion represented by the letter E. I also think Es who like to talk to people may form less "deep" relationships cos they spread their bets, or time too thinly among too many people. On the other hand, Is form deeper and stronger bonds with the chosen ones, although they may not have as wide a network as Es. Then again, this can be improved if Is hone their extrovert skills well. Maybe Is with excellent extrovert skills can be mistaken as Es. )

N : iNtuition (Pretty clear I am not very sensing, though I believe that I have been shaped and nurtured to be more fact-oriented and rooted to the present. I do enjoy knowing facts. But I think most of the time, I tend to go with my gut feel cos I am too lazy to trawl through the facts to make sense of the information and arrive at my decisions or conclusions.)

F : Feeling (Even clearer that I am definitely more feeling than thinking. I wonder if this means that I am not very numerate, which I think so. But then I am not that good with words either. Wonder how the hell I am going to handle CFA... First thing first, GMAT.)

P : Perceiving (Now this is surprising. Most of the other MBTIs that I did concluded that either I am a J, i.e. judging, or a J-P even split. This time the result was 16:6, in P's favour. I guess I have also been brought up to be more orderly and structured in my lifestyle (J), which I believe is key to doing well in the education system here. With so many subjects to tackle at one time, if one is not structured and disciplined, how to handle right? The truth is I tend to go along with the flow, or at least prefer to do so, even if I do not do it sometimes or most of the time. This becomes evident whenever I drive. I don't like to plan my route, although I sort of have a map in my head when driving. And when I park, I just reverse first before assessing if the car can fit into the lot at that angle. If not, then I panick and readjust my wheels. So bascially I suck at parking, cos I am too lazy and cannot be bothered to plan how much to turn etc. Or when I travel, I do try to plan the destinations but always only up to a half-past-six point, before leaving the planning aside. When I reach the country, then I see what I feel like doing.)

Can't wait to hear what she has to say about job fit for the 16 combis.

Today is Chinese day

最近可说是无辣不欢啊。 也不知道是为什么，就是偏爱重口味的食物，尤其是辣。 而要辣，就要辣得痛快，辣得彻底。 所以，到外头用餐，一定要点些麻辣汤头之类的食物， 或是配上大口大口的鲜红小辣椒一起进食。在家中用餐时，也不忘加些胡椒，青辣椒，或小辣椒等，只要是咸的食物，都一定会让辣椒朋友们通通出场。 吃的一脸通红，头皮麻麻的，又汗流浃背，真是够爽！也不知道是何时何日开始这么爱吃辣，也这么能吃辣。可能是最近寻工进展的不顺利，心情有点低落，也或是工作枯燥乏味，人需要一点味蕾上的刺激，来调解心情，为生活带来些短暂的快感。不过，吃辣吃的多，味觉好像是越来越麻木，必须越吃越辣。就不知自己也会对周围的事物一样越来越麻木呢？还有什么可以刺激到我的呢？

Scars

I used to stare at people with scars on their bodies and wonder (or imagine) how they got them in the first place. It's not that I am laughing at them or thinking they should have taken better care of their skin; I was simply curious. It is pretty common to spot people, usually ladies because they wear shorts/skirts that reveal much, with dark spots on their legs. I know for a fact that these spots are sometimes a result of mosquito bites, which leave scars if one scratched the bitten spot too vehemently. Then there are scars that were left behind when wounds failed to heal properly, sometimes resulting in keloids. Maybe I am too superstitious, but I do think that the scars that I have accumulated are a result of me staring too hard at those of others in the past. My scars were not left by mosquitoes, because those fade quite quickly, but usually from accidents. I recently got a, in my opinion, huge scab on my right foot as a result of a fall. The location of the wound was inexplicably bizzare; it was right at the top of the joint joining my foot to my leg, which also makes it difficult to heal because of the frequent movements of my foot stretching the skin when I walk. There is this cavity on my wound now which is taking a long time to heal. I guess a lot of flesh has to grow to fill up that cavity. And the pus is still coming out after more than a week, which I think is slowing down the healing process. This is going to be a damn big scar that would take heavy exfoliation daily and ages to fade away. Sigh, now my legs look kind of spotty too, not as bad as those of patches of mosquito bite scars, but well bad enough. I really think I should not have stared that hard at those poor souls with similar if not worse afflictions in the past. Now, I am being duly punished.

Muse and Life

A friend brought back a local magazine from Hong Kong today - Muse [瞄]. It's thinner than I expected and the English is a lot better than I imagined. Heh. Content-wise, there was this interesting article about people who aschew full-time, permanent and stable employment and instead, choose to freelance or simply temp around, much like the freeters in Japan some years back. Anyway, though the topic was rather dated, it was quite thought-provoking. The article interviewed a whole bunch of people who decided to give up their jobs to "pursue their dreams", like writing, producing music and these two guys who set up an organic farm. The interviewees claimed that their happiness quotient increased dramatically when they were able to structure their lives as they wish, unlike slogs who have to report to work at 7 and stay cooped up for 9 hrs min. for 5 days a week. But then if the lives of waking up as and when they feel like, having breakfast by the window watching eagles swoop and soar and shopping at noon are that great, why do all of them say that they do not see themselves living like this for long and would like to go back to leading more stable lives, i.e., rejoin the ranks of the slogs? Ahh.. the lure of the commercial world. Who could resist right? Heh. Not trying to be sarcastic or cynical here, but this' a tough world man. Ultimately, it's a clash of value systems here. And in a world whose set of values are becoming increasingly all pervasive with the help of non-stop bombardment made possible by efficient media technologies, it's a struggle to resist these values and let ours rule our lives.

Another day just slipped by.........

Cannot believe I just spent another day sitting at my desk, staring at the computer screen and stoning. In between moments of stoning, managed to finish The Road to Wigan Pier. It was an excellent book, but only the first part. I sort of spaced out after ploughing halfway through the second part before deciding to give up. Not really interested in all that socialism yada yada. The first part, however, was well-written. Orwell was extremely perceptive and thought-provoking. The image of the miners working the mines as described in the book reminded me somewhat of the brick kiln slaves in Shanxi. Only that the Wigan miners were not forced labour. But the destituteness, the mindless drudgery and the sense of helplessness are equally striking in both instances.

仁波切 - 四见地

一切皆无常 ：凡事都会变化。

一切情绪皆痛苦 ：情绪是一切痛苦的根源， 而情绪是由无明而造成的。

一切事物皆无自性 ：和合物是相互依赖的，也都是不稳定的。一切是空。

涅磐超越概念 ：大乐胜于快乐。 超越业报。